Mentioning family members who died before your loved one is a meaningful tradition in obituary writing. The phrase “preceded in death by” honors those who are no longer living and helps readers understand the full shape of a life and its losses. Knowing how to handle predeceased relatives correctly — with the right wording, order, and level of detail — keeps the obituary clear and respectful.
The Standard Phrase and How to Use It
The most common phrasing is “was preceded in death by” or simply “preceded in death by.” This appears after the list of surviving family members, or at the start of a separate sentence. For example: “She was preceded in death by her husband, Robert; her parents, Frank and Edna; and her brother, Harold.”
Use a semicolon to separate names when listing more than two people. If only one person is listed, a comma works fine. Keep the section brief — one to three sentences is the norm for most published obituaries, especially when space or word count is limited.
Who Belongs in the Predeceased List
Include close family members who would typically be listed in the surviving family section but are no longer living: spouses, parents, siblings, and children. Grandparents and grandchildren may be listed if they had a meaningful relationship with the deceased.
There is no obligation to list every predeceased relative. Focus on those whose absence shaped the deceased’s life — a spouse who passed years earlier, a child who died young, or a parent who had a defining influence. If the list grows long, it is acceptable to write “and several predeceased siblings” rather than naming each one.
How Much Detail to Include
A name and relationship is usually enough. You do not need to include dates of death or cause of death for predeceased relatives unless there is a specific reason — for instance, if a spouse died recently and the community will recognize the loss.
If two people share the same name, add a clarifying detail: “her son, James (Jim) Miller” or “her brother, Thomas, of Chicago.” This avoids confusion for readers who knew the family.
Placement in the Obituary
The predeceased section typically follows the list of survivors. A standard structure looks like this: survivors listed first, then a new sentence beginning “She was preceded in death by…” This keeps the living family prominent while still honoring those who died earlier.
Some families prefer to weave predeceased relatives into the narrative — for example, “She was married to Harold for 44 years until his passing in 2018.” Both approaches are acceptable. The narrative approach feels warmer but requires more space.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Do not list predeceased relatives in the survivors section by accident. Double-check dates of death if you are unsure — it is better to omit someone than to list a living person as deceased.
Avoid phrases like “is now reunited with” unless the family specifically wants religious language in the obituary. The neutral “was preceded in death by” is universally understood and appropriate for any publication.
Worth remembering: Listing predeceased relatives with the phrase “was preceded in death by” is a simple, respectful tradition. Include close family whose absence mattered, keep names and relationships clear, and place this section after your list of survivors for a clean, readable obituary.
Common questions
Do I have to list predeceased relatives in an obituary?
No, it is optional. Many families include it as a way to honor those who died before the deceased, but there is no rule requiring it.
What if I’m not sure whether a relative is living or deceased?
If you cannot confirm a relative’s status, omit them from both the survivors and predeceased lists. It is better to leave someone out than to make an error that distresses living family members.
Can I include predeceased friends or non-family members?
It is uncommon in traditional obituaries, but some families mention a close lifelong friend. Keep such mentions brief and reserve the predeceased section primarily for family.
How do I list a predeceased spouse if the deceased remarried?
List both spouses if both are relevant. For example: “She was preceded in death by her first husband, William Carter, and is survived by her husband of 20 years, James Moore.”