You receive a call that a parent has died and the family asks you to write an obituary for the local paper and the funeral programme. The task feels urgent, but the details that belong in the notice are predictable once you know the standard order, the facts to collect, and the conventions for naming survivors. A clear checklist and a short template keep the process organized and prevent last‑minute revisions.
Standard elements and their order
An obituary usually opens with the full name of the deceased, age, and the date and place of death. A brief sentence follows that identifies the primary relationship to the community, such as “beloved husband, father, and veteran.” The next paragraph gives a concise life summary, mentioning birth details, education, career highlights, and notable interests without becoming a resume. After that, a list of surviving family members appears, often grouped by immediate relatives first, then extended family. The notice ends with service information—date, time, location, and any requested memorial contributions. A final line may note the funeral home handling arrangements.
Collecting facts before you write
Gathering accurate information prevents errors that can delay publication. Create a simple list that includes: 1) Full legal name, any common nicknames, and maiden name if applicable; 2) Birth date and place; 3) Date, time, and place of death; 4) Age at death; 5) Immediate family members (spouse, children, parents, siblings) with full names and relationship; 6) Extended survivors you wish to mention; 7) Pre‑deceased relatives to be noted; 8) Service details; 9) Desired cause of death wording. Verify each item with a reliable source—official records, a family member, or the funeral director. If the cause of death is sensitive, decide whether to state it, use a general phrase such as “after a brief illness,” or omit it entirely, following the family’s preference.
Writing the life summary
The life paragraph should be one to two short paragraphs that capture the person’s character rather than a chronological CV. Begin with a sentence that reflects a defining trait or passion, for example, “John was known for his quiet generosity and love of woodworking.” Follow with a few sentences that mention key life events: where they grew up, major career or volunteer work, hobbies, and any community involvement that mattered to them. Use concrete details—specific clubs, projects, or traditions—rather than generic adjectives. Keep the tone factual and respectful, avoiding overly promotional language. The goal is to give readers a clear picture of who the person was in everyday life.
Listing survivors and pre‑deceased relatives
Survivors are typically listed after the life summary, starting with the spouse, then children, parents, and siblings. Use full names and indicate relationships in parentheses if the list is long, for example, “Emily (wife), Michael (son), Sarah (daughter).” When family structure is complex—step‑children, adopted relatives, or blended families—group individuals by legal relationship and note the connection if it adds clarity. Pre‑deceased relatives are mentioned in a separate line, often introduced with “Pre‑deceased include…” followed by names and relationship. If the family prefers a simplified list, a brief statement such as “Survived by a large extended family” can replace detailed enumeration, but ensure no close immediate relative is omitted unintentionally.
Length for newspaper vs. funeral programme
Newspaper obituaries are usually limited to 150‑300 words because of space costs; they focus on essential facts and a brief life sketch. Funeral programme tributes can be longer, ranging from 400‑800 words, allowing for a more expansive narrative, photos, and personal anecdotes. When drafting, write a full version first, then edit down for the newspaper, preserving the core information. Keep the programme version as a separate document so you can add extra sections—such as a poem, a longer family history, or a list of charitable donations—without compromising the newspaper notice.
Where to publish and typical costs
Traditional print newspapers still accept obituary submissions, often through an online portal or by phone. Fees vary by circulation and word count; a basic notice may cost a few hundred dollars, while extended notices can exceed a thousand. Many families also post the notice on the funeral home’s website, which is usually included in the service fee. Online memorial platforms offer free or low‑cost options and allow updates after the initial publication. Before submitting, confirm the deadline for the chosen newspaper, as late submissions may be delayed to the next edition and incur additional charges.
Final review before submission
A last review reduces the chance of errors that can be costly to correct after printing. Follow these steps: 1) Read the draft aloud to catch awkward phrasing; 2) Verify spelling of all names and places; 3) Confirm that the cause‑of‑death wording matches the family’s decision; 4) Check that survivor listings are complete and correctly ordered; 5) Ensure service details are accurate and up‑to‑date; 6) Send the draft to at least one other family member for confirmation. Incorporate any feedback, then submit the final version to the newspaper or online service according to their guidelines.
Worth remembering: Gather all factual details first, write a concise life paragraph, and follow the conventional order of name, dates, life summary, survivors, and service information; a quick checklist and a family review keep the obituary accurate and ready for any publication format.
Common questions
What should I include?
Include the full name, age, date and place of death, a brief life summary, a list of surviving and pre‑deceased relatives, and service details; optionally add a cause of death if the family chooses.
How long should it be?
A newspaper notice typically stays under 300 words, while a funeral programme tribute can range from 400 to 800 words, depending on how much personal detail the family wants to share.
What common mistakes should I avoid?
Avoid misspelling names, omitting close relatives, using overly promotional language, and forgetting to verify service information; also check that the cause‑of‑death wording matches the family’s preference.