When a family member dies, the first practical step after the funeral arrangements is often to draft an obituary. The notice will appear in a newspaper, on a funeral home website, or in a programme for the service. It must convey the essential facts, honor the person’s life, and guide readers to any memorial details. The process can feel overwhelming, but breaking it into clear stages keeps the task manageable and ensures that no important information is missed.
Standard elements and order
An obituary typically begins with the full name of the deceased, followed by age, place of residence, and the date and place of death. The next line often includes a brief phrase that captures the person’s role or a personal characteristic, such as “beloved husband, father, and teacher.” After that comes a concise life summary, then a list of survivors, information about the service, and finally any charitable donations or memorial contributions. Keeping this sequence helps readers locate the information they need quickly.
Gather the facts before you write
Collecting accurate details is the foundation of a reliable obituary. Create a simple checklist: 1) Full legal name, including maiden or alternate names; 2) Date of birth and death; 3) Place of birth, residence, and death; 4) Names of parents, spouse, children, and grandchildren; 5) Occupations, major achievements, and hobbies; 6) Cause of death, if you choose to include it; 7) Service date, time, location, and any reception details. Verify each item with a birth certificate, death certificate, or a trusted family member before proceeding.
Handling the cause of death
Including the cause of death is optional and depends on family preference and cultural norms. Conventional practice is to state it briefly, for example, “after a brief illness” or “following complications from surgery.” If the family wishes to keep the cause private, a simple phrase such as “peacefully surrounded by family” is acceptable. When a cause is disclosed, use neutral language and avoid medical jargon unless a doctor has approved the wording.
Writing a life summary
The life paragraph should read like a short narrative, not a résumé. Focus on the person’s most meaningful roles, passions, and contributions. Mention where they grew up, key milestones, and any lasting impact on their community or family. Keep the tone factual and avoid exhaustive lists of jobs or awards; instead, highlight a few details that illustrate character, such as “a lifelong gardener who shared his harvest with neighbours.” Aim for one to two paragraphs that together stay under two hundred words.
Naming survivors and pre‑deceased relatives
List surviving spouses, children, grandchildren, and siblings in order of closeness, using full names where possible. If a family structure is complex—step‑children, adopted relatives, or multiple marriages—group survivors by relationship and note any name changes. Pre‑deceased relatives are usually mentioned in a separate line, for example, “pre‑deceased son Michael (1975‑2020).” This approach respects all connections while keeping the notice clear.
Length and publication options
Newspaper obituaries are typically limited to 150‑300 words and may cost a few hundred dollars, depending on column size and placement. A funeral programme allows for a longer tribute, often up to 800 words, and can be printed in-house or through a professional service. Digital options—website notices, social‑media posts, or email memorials—offer flexibility in length and are usually free or low‑cost. Choose the format that matches the intended audience and budget.
Review and submission
Before sending the draft to a newspaper or printer, share it with at least one other family member for verification. Ask them to check spelling of names, dates, and any quoted phrases. A second set of eyes can also catch tone issues or accidental omissions. Once the draft is approved, follow the publication’s submission guidelines, which often require a plain‑text file or an online form. Keep a copy of the final version for personal records.
Worth remembering: Start with a factual checklist, write a concise narrative that reflects the person’s character, and let another family member proofread before you submit. This simple workflow produces a clear, respectful obituary without unnecessary detail.
Common questions
What should this resource include?
The resource should include the typical sections of an obituary, a step‑by‑step fact‑gathering checklist, guidance on cause‑of‑death wording, tips for summarising a life, survivor naming conventions, length options, and a final review process.
Can I use it digitally and on paper?
Yes, the template works for both online notices and printed programmes. Adjust the word count to fit the chosen medium, and follow the specific formatting rules of the newspaper or website where it will appear.
How should I customize it for my family?
Tailor the life paragraph to highlight the deceased’s unique interests, replace generic phrases with family‑specific details, and arrange survivor lists to reflect blended families or cultural naming practices.