Writing an obituary

A family sits around a kitchen table, a notebook open, while a sibling reads aloud dates dates and places that will become the backbone of an obituary. The conversation moves from childhood neighborhoods to recent milestones, and each detail is noted before the grief deepens. This practical moment illustrates how a structured approach—collecting facts, choosing a format, and confirming details—turns a personal loss into a clear, respectful public notice. The steps outlined below guide you through that process, from gathering information to publishing the final piece.

Gather the Essentials with a Fact‑Gathering Worksheet

Start by completing a printable worksheet that captures the data needed for any obituary. Columns should include full legal name, commonly used name or nickname, birth date and place, death date and place, and the names of parents, spouses, children, and siblings. Add rows for occupations, military service, education, and notable achievements, as well as a separate section for contact information of the person who will submit the notice. Filling out this worksheet with input from multiple relatives reduces the chance of overlooking a key fact and creates a single source that can be referenced throughout the writing process.

Choose Length and Structure: Short vs. Long Templates

Decide early whether the notice will be a brief announcement (150‑200 words) or a longer tribute (400‑600 words). A short template typically follows a single paragraph that lists name, age, date of death, surviving family members, and funeral details. A long template expands each element into separate paragraphs: a lead paragraph with basic facts, a life‑summary paragraph, a paragraph on survivors and predeceased relatives, and a closing paragraph with service information and donation preferences. Use the worksheet to determine which template fits the amount of material available and the publication’s space constraints.

Write the Core Narrative: Names, Dates, Relationships, and Cause of Death

Begin the narrative with the full name, age, and dates of birth and death, presented in the order required by the chosen publication. Follow with a concise statement of the cause of death, using language that matches the family’s comfort level—”after a brief illness,” “following complications from surgery,” or simply “peacefully” if no detail is desired. List immediate family members in a consistent format, separating survivors from those who predeceased the subject. For example: “Survived by his wife, Maria; their children, Luis (45) and Ana (42); and his mother, Evelyn (78).” This structure provides clarity and satisfies most editorial guidelines.

Handle Complex Family Dynamics: Estrangement, Blended Families, and Survivor Logic

When families include step‑children, half‑siblings, or estranged relatives, apply a logical hierarchy that reflects legal relationships and the deceased’s expressed wishes. List spouses and children first, then parents, then siblings, and finally extended relatives. If a spouse has remarried, include the current spouse only if the deceased’s will or family consensus indicates relevance. For estranged relatives, omit mention unless the family explicitly requests inclusion. A brief note such as “and many close friends” can acknowledge broader connections without enumerating every individual, keeping the notice respectful and concise.

Choose and Prepare Visuals: Photo Guidance for Print and Online Use

Select a high‑resolution portrait that meets the size requirements of the intended outlet. Newspapers typically require a 2‑inch square image at 300 dpi, while online platforms accept JPEG files up to 1 MB with a minimum width of 600 pixels. Crop the photo to focus on the face, avoid busy backgrounds, and ensure the subject is well‑lit. If multiple images are desired, limit them to one additional picture for a family group or a meaningful activity, and label each file clearly (e.g., “JohnDoe_Portrait.jpg”). Properly formatted photos reduce the likelihood of rejection during the editorial review.

Proofread, Verify, and Obtain Family Confirmation

After drafting, run a checklist: 1) Verify spelling of all names and places; 2) Confirm dates match official records; 3) Ensure relationships are correctly labeled as “survived by” or “predeceased by”; 4) Check that the cause‑of‑death wording matches family preferences; 5) Review photo dimensions and file format; 6) Confirm that any donation information is accurate. Share the final draft with at least two family members for sign‑off, documenting their approval via email or a signed form. This step protects against inadvertent errors that could cause distress or require a correction notice later.

Publication Options, Formatting, and Cost Considerations

Choose between newspaper print, online memorial sites, or a combination of both. Print notices often have a fixed price per line or per column inch; request a quote that includes the cost of the photo insert. Online platforms may charge a flat fee or offer free basic listings with optional paid enhancements such as extended biographies or searchable tags. Prepare the text in the format requested by the outlet—plain text for most newspapers, HTML for some online services. Submit the final, proofread version along with the correctly sized photo before the publication deadline, typically 48‑72 hours prior to the desired release date.

Gather accurate facts early, choose a template that matches the amount of material, and follow a consistent hierarchy for survivors and predeceased relatives. A final proofread and documented family approval ensure the obituary is both respectful and error‑free.