Questions About Someone’s Rules for Living

You sit across a kitchen table, a recorder humming, as a parent begins to describe the rule they learned while fixing a leaky faucet at age ten. The conversation drifts from that early lesson to the principles that now guide decisions about work, family, and aging. Capturing these rules in a structured way creates a reference that can be revisited by future generations, offering insight into how a life was lived without relying on vague anecdotes or sentimental gloss.

Early Lessons and Influences

1
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1
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Rules Born From Hard Experience

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Uncommon Beliefs

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1
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1
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1
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Advice to Your Younger Self

1
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2
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3
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4
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5
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r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
c
u
r
i
o
s
i
t
y
a
n
d
l
e
a
r
n
i
n
g
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
e
m
p
h
a
s
i
z
e
?
6
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
s
a
y
i
n
g
“
n
o
“
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
s
u
g
g
e
s
t
t
o
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
?
(
W
h
y
i
s
i
t
i
m
p
o
r
t
a
n
t
?
)
7
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
d
i
g
i
t
a
l
f
o
o
t
p
r
i
n
t
s
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
h
i
g
h
l
i
g
h
t
f
o
r
y
o
u
r
t
e
e
n
y
e
a
r
s
?
8
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
h
a
n
d
l
i
n
g
c
r
i
t
i
c
i
s
m
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
g
i
v
e
t
o
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
?
9
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
g
r
a
t
i
t
u
d
e
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
a
s
k
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
t
o
p
r
a
c
t
i
c
e
?
1
0
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
r
i
s
k
‑
t
a
k
i
n
g
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
a
d
v
i
s
e
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
t
o
c
o
n
s
i
d
e
r
?
1
1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
a
u
t
h
e
n
t
i
c
i
t
y
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
s
t
r
e
s
s
t
o
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
?
1
2
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
s
e
e
k
i
n
g
h
e
l
p
w
o
u
l
d
y
o
u
r
e
c
o
m
m
e
n
d
t
o
y
o
u
r
y
o
u
n
g
e
r
s
e
l
f
?

Non‑Negotiables

1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
h
o
n
e
s
t
y
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
n
e
v
e
r
c
o
m
p
r
o
m
i
s
e
,
e
v
e
n
w
h
e
n
i
t
h
u
r
t
s
?
2
.
W
h
a
t
b
o
u
n
d
a
r
y
r
e
g
a
r
d
i
n
g
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
t
i
m
e
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
a
l
w
a
y
s
p
r
o
t
e
c
t
?
3
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
t
r
e
a
t
i
n
g
o
t
h
e
r
s
w
i
t
h
r
e
s
p
e
c
t
d
o
y
o
u
h
o
l
d
r
e
g
a
r
d
l
e
s
s
o
f
c
i
r
c
u
m
s
t
a
n
c
e
?
4
.
W
h
a
t
p
r
i
n
c
i
p
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
r
i
v
a
c
y
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
n
e
v
e
r
s
u
r
r
e
n
d
e
r
?
5
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
f
i
n
a
n
c
i
a
l
i
n
d
e
p
e
n
d
e
n
c
e
i
s
a
l
i
n
e
y
o
u
w
i
l
l
n
o
t
c
r
o
s
s
?
6
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
c
a
r
i
n
g
f
o
r
y
o
u
r
h
e
a
l
t
h
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
n
e
v
e
r
a
b
a
n
d
o
n
?
(
H
o
w
d
o
y
o
u
e
n
f
o
r
c
e
i
t
?
)
7
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
l
o
y
a
l
t
y
t
o
f
a
m
i
l
y
m
e
m
b
e
r
s
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
u
p
h
o
l
d
w
i
t
h
o
u
t
e
x
c
e
p
t
i
o
n
?
8
.
W
h
a
t
s
t
a
n
d
a
r
d
f
o
r
p
r
o
f
e
s
s
i
o
n
a
l
c
o
n
d
u
c
t
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
n
e
v
e
r
v
i
o
l
a
t
e
?
9
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
e
n
v
i
r
o
n
m
e
n
t
a
l
i
m
p
a
c
t
d
o
y
o
u
c
o
n
s
i
d
e
r
n
o
n
‑
n
e
g
o
t
i
a
b
l
e
?
1
0
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
t
r
u
t
h
f
u
l
n
e
s
s
i
n
s
t
o
r
y
t
e
l
l
i
n
g
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
a
l
w
a
y
s
f
o
l
l
o
w
?
1
1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
s
a
f
e
t
y
w
i
l
l
y
o
u
n
e
v
e
r
c
o
m
p
r
o
m
i
s
e
?
1
2
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
m
a
i
n
t
a
i
n
i
n
g
a
c
l
e
a
r
m
i
n
d
(
e
.
g
.
,
s
u
b
s
t
a
n
c
e
u
s
e
)
i
s
a
b
s
o
l
u
t
e
f
o
r
y
o
u
?

Evolution of Rules

1
.
H
o
w
h
a
s
y
o
u
r
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
w
o
r
k
‑
l
i
f
e
b
a
l
a
n
c
e
s
h
i
f
t
e
d
o
v
e
r
t
h
e
p
a
s
t
d
e
c
a
d
e
?
2
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
y
o
u
o
n
c
e
h
e
l
d
a
b
o
u
t
c
a
r
e
e
r
s
u
c
c
e
s
s
h
a
v
e
y
o
u
s
o
f
t
e
n
e
d
?
3
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
a
r
e
n
t
i
n
g
c
h
a
n
g
e
d
a
s
y
o
u
r
c
h
i
l
d
r
e
n
g
r
e
w
o
l
d
e
r
?
4
.
H
o
w
d
i
d
y
o
u
r
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
s
o
c
i
a
l
m
e
d
i
a
u
s
e
e
v
o
l
v
e
w
i
t
h
t
e
c
h
n
o
l
o
g
y
?
5
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
f
i
n
a
n
c
i
a
l
r
i
s
k
y
o
u
a
l
t
e
r
e
d
a
f
t
e
r
a
m
a
r
k
e
t
c
h
a
n
g
e
?
6
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
s
t
y
l
e
o
r
a
p
p
e
a
r
a
n
c
e
d
i
d
y
o
u
r
e
l
a
x
o
v
e
r
t
i
m
e
?
(
W
h
a
t
p
r
o
m
p
t
e
d
t
h
e
c
h
a
n
g
e
?
)
7
.
H
o
w
h
a
s
y
o
u
r
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
f
o
r
g
i
v
e
n
e
s
s
t
r
a
n
s
f
o
r
m
e
d
w
i
t
h
a
g
e
?
8
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
t
r
a
v
e
l
o
r
e
x
p
l
o
r
a
t
i
o
n
g
r
e
w
m
o
r
e
e
x
p
a
n
s
i
v
e
?
9
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
r
e
l
i
g
i
o
u
s
o
r
s
p
i
r
i
t
u
a
l
p
r
a
c
t
i
c
e
d
i
d
y
o
u
m
o
d
i
f
y
?
1
0
.
H
o
w
d
i
d
y
o
u
r
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
a
c
c
e
p
t
i
n
g
h
e
l
p
c
h
a
n
g
e
a
f
t
e
r
a
m
a
j
o
r
l
i
f
e
e
v
e
n
t
?
1
1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
a
m
b
i
t
i
o
n
y
o
u
y
o
u
r
e
f
r
a
m
e
d
i
n
l
a
t
e
r
y
e
a
r
s
?
1
2
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
l
e
g
a
c
y
p
l
a
n
n
i
n
g
e
m
e
r
g
e
d
o
n
l
y
a
f
t
e
r
a
h
e
a
l
t
h
s
c
a
r
e
?

Rules Broken

1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
h
a
v
e
y
o
u
d
e
l
i
b
e
r
a
t
e
l
y
b
r
o
k
e
n
,
a
n
d
w
h
y
d
i
d
y
o
u
c
h
o
o
s
e
t
o
d
o
s
o
?
2
.
W
h
a
t
c
i
r
c
u
m
s
t
a
n
c
e
f
o
r
c
e
d
y
o
u
t
o
a
b
a
n
d
o
n
a
l
o
n
g
‑
s
t
a
n
d
i
n
g
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
s
a
v
i
n
g
?
3
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
u
n
c
t
u
a
l
i
t
y
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
f
o
r
a
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
r
e
a
s
o
n
?
4
.
H
o
w
d
i
d
b
r
e
a
k
i
n
g
a
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
d
i
e
t
a
f
f
e
c
t
y
o
u
r
h
e
a
l
t
h
o
u
t
l
o
o
k
?
5
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
n
e
v
e
r
c
o
m
p
r
o
m
i
s
i
n
g
p
e
r
s
o
n
a
l
v
a
l
u
e
s
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
,
a
n
d
w
h
a
t
w
a
s
t
h
e
o
u
t
c
o
m
e
?
6
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
s
t
a
y
i
n
g
i
n
a
j
o
b
y
o
u
d
i
s
l
i
k
e
d
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
,
a
n
d
w
h
a
t
p
r
o
m
p
t
e
d
t
h
e
c
h
a
n
g
e
?
7
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
n
e
v
e
r
t
a
k
i
n
g
a
d
a
y
o
f
f
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
,
a
n
d
h
o
w
d
i
d
i
t
a
f
f
e
c
t
y
o
u
?
8
.
H
o
w
d
i
d
b
r
e
a
k
i
n
g
a
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
p
r
i
v
a
c
y
(
e
.
g
.
,
s
h
a
r
i
n
g
o
n
s
o
c
i
a
l
m
e
d
i
a
)
c
h
a
n
g
e
y
o
u
r
p
e
r
s
p
e
c
t
i
v
e
?
9
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
a
v
o
i
d
i
n
g
c
o
n
f
l
i
c
t
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
,
a
n
d
w
h
a
t
d
i
d
y
o
u
l
e
a
r
n
?
1
0
.
W
h
a
t
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
n
e
v
e
r
a
s
k
i
n
g
f
o
r
h
e
l
p
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
,
a
n
d
w
h
a
t
s
u
p
p
o
r
t
d
i
d
y
o
u
r
e
c
e
i
v
e
?
1
1
.
W
h
i
c
h
r
u
l
e
a
b
o
u
t
m
a
i
n
t
a
i
n
i
n
g
a
s
t
r
i
c
t
r
o
u
t
i
n
e
d
i
d
y
o
u
b
r
e
a
k
d
u
r
i
n
g
a
c
r
i
s
i
s
?
1
2
.
H
o
w
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Worth remembering: Use the questions as a flexible guide rather than a rigid script; let the conversation flow naturally, pause for stories, and record the answers without judgment. The goal is to capture the reasoning behind each rule, not just the rule itself, so you can preserve the nuance of a lived philosophy for future reference.

Common questions

How do I get someone to talk about their values without it sounding like a job interview?

Start the conversation in a relaxed setting and frame the questions as curiosity about their life story rather than a formal assessment. Explain that you are collecting personal reflections for a family archive, which reduces the interview feel and encourages openness.

What if the person says they don’t have rules, they just live their life?

Gently probe for moments that guided decisions, such as a time they chose one path over another. Even informal habits can be expressed as rules when asked about the reasoning behind specific actions.

How do I follow up when someone gives a short or evasive answer?

Ask a clarifying prompt that invites detail, such as “Can you tell me more about what led you to that decision?” or “What was the impact of that choice on your daily life?” This encourages deeper reflection without pressure.